A newsletter of short stories and short thoughts from the suburbs. If you want to join the 1000+ lovely people who receive it every month, just head over to Substack and enter your email address.
Modern Day Fears
Forget spiders, snakes, and tall buildings. These are the things that really keep us up at night.
Arbitrary Units of Measurement
There’s something wonderfully human about the arbitrary objects we use to describe sizes that are hard to comprehend.
‘Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m sorry to inform you that we’ve run out of quiche. I repeat, there will be NO quiche available from the buffet car for the duration of this journey.’ And people wonder why we should re-nationalise the railways.
‘Mummy, I heard a noise’ Not this again. When Michael’s at home, she sleeps like a log. But when I want to get a good night’s sleep? There’s always something.
Everything is exactly as it should be. People in seats, looking smug, avoiding eye contact with new arrivals who are old, pregnant, or have a crutch. Others in the aisle, thrusting groins and armpits into the faces of those seated
It’s summer. There’re tourists. And they’re everywhere. Tourists with their over-sized bags, exploiting a luggage-shaped loop hole in the ‘stand on the right’ request.
Another normal day, another normal commute, and I’ve got my normal standing spot by the bin-seat, a useful substitute for when my legs start to give way should one of those very-rare, nearly-never-happen, but-when-they-do-they-take-ages delays occur.
The announcer’s voice acts like a starting gun for the well-dressed, middle-aged, suited-and-booted office workers piling through the ticket barrier. ‘Ladies & Gentlemen, the train now approaching platform one’