What a week for world football. Sepp Blatter, the corrupt criminal at the top of a large pile of other corrupt criminals, has finally resigned. I’m delighted, and so are my friends. In fact, so is nearly everyone I know who likes the Greatest Sport In The World.
There’s just one problem. I’ve never met him. Nor has anyone I know met him. I’ve never spoken to him, seen him, or been to the country where he lives and works. In fact, I have absolutely no direct evidence that he’s a corrupt criminal at all, and 66% of the people in Fifa who have met him and know him decided he was good enough to vote for again.
That’s ok though, because the information on him is being given to me by a reliable source, the British media. I trust them to be honest and tell me what I need to know to make a fair, impartial, and balanced decision on the matter.
Although actually, I’ve never met them either.
And, well, they’ve sort of been known to not always be that truthful and balanced. In fact, they hacked people’s phones and lied about it. Also, as the recent election proved, I tend to disagree with a lot of what they have to say. Most of the time.
But not on this. They’re right on this, I’m sure of it. Because it agrees with what I think.
More than that, it agrees with what my friends think, and what the people I choose to follow on Twitter think.
Ok, so most of the people I follow are pretty similar to me, with similar backgrounds, similar salaries, similar upbringings, similar looks, similar educations. But they’re still a diverse range of people. One of them even uses a Windows phone.
Besides, Gary Lineker said he should resign, and he should know because he used to be a footballer, so is a bit of an authority on the subject.
But Putin supports him! So he must be guilty, as the Russian media is claiming this is some kind of ludicrous American plot to strip Russia of the World Cup!
I haven’t actually read any of those Russian newspapers though because, well, they’re hard to get hold of and I don’t speak the language, so I just tend to read the news that’s most available to me. But I’m sure they’re right.
Hmmm.
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